2 February 2024 - site update
I decided not to dump my diaries too much in here, and make text smaller.
My mental state is getting worse, to be honest. But I still want to try my best to do what I want to do.
23 June 2023 - pride month
I usually only write personal diaries for myself and not expose to others, but I decided to dump some parts in here.
Something I can now celebrate without neutral feelings. Maybe not as I expected, though.
I recently got back in the mood to draw something, and I made a small icon of vee sitting on a platform. It still feels hard for me, despite being able to draw in a rather fine quality last year.
My mind has been full of unrealistic thoughts. and the pain of being a male is striking harder than before.
There are multiple genders to choose from. I was talking with several
friends of mine regarding genders, and one of them suggested me being gender-fluid - unstable status
with gender swapping from one to another at times.
But I don't like to feel like "he", yet I don't want to be nothing or be like part of a group of
people, so I chose to be transgender female. It was something I long wanted (to be called "she"),
anyways.
I couldn't stand being a male when I have weakness of any sort. Especially when admitting to have a mental sickness.
The male stereotype of being perfect still stands strong. But female stereotypes slowly strengthens within me.
I changed some bits, but not too much.
How are you doing, by the way?
This is merely a test entry to this, so I am not counting this towards the number.
Maybe something
like this works?
We'll see how this goes.